OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have post one night stand depression
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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