We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
