There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
