She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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