What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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