I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
