butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
