I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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