i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
