Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
