i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
