Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
