'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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