I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
