Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
