In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
