and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
