I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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