Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
