so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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