I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
