Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
