Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
