recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
