3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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