Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
