so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
