were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize