Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
