kristin has been a bad kristin
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He shit in the fireplace
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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