So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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