He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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