I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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