I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
my liver is dry heaving
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
