I must be too annoying 4 u.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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