All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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