just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
