Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
