Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
