Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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