HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
