i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
