Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
