he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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