You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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