love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
