Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
