i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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