So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
