billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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