soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
