I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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