I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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