3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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