So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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