you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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