a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
