I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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