My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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