Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
