THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
the raccoons are back...
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